Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
