barbara walters just said penis...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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