Dual....:-)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize