Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
