Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
