if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
