you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
