This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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