Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize