I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
