So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i will never coherently bang her
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
