you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
