I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
