Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
