I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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