i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
