It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
