I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
