Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
