i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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