i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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