Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
