if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
