butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
