so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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