we have officially lost it.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I party with great urgency now.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
