thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
