Christians are straight up FREAKS
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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