The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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