i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
