Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
