hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
