And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
