she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
