the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
