:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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