I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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