you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
