Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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