You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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