oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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