Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
