...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
