Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
