pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
