Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she smelled like a LAN party
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
