sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
