how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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