he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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