the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
