the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
