question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
