Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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