nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize