Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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