Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
