Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
