i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
