Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
