she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
FUCK WHALES
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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