I have demons in me.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
